Say the Words
by lighthousespectrum
Summary: Poe Dameron is the Resistance's best Commander and military strategist. He's everything a noble gentleman should be. For as long as he can remember, he's lived by a code: duty above his heart,. But what happens when the Commander is charged with his most important mission yet? Becoming the sole protector and fiancé of the Resistance's heir, Rey, the strong-willed Skywalker.
1. Chapter 1: The Fear

Chapter 1: The Fear

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife," Poe read aloud from the novel he had opened that morning. Those were the opening lines of the novel he picked up and already he was retching at such a statement. He frustratedly ran his left hand through his dark wavy hair, what nonsense was this writer spreading to women?

"This is ridiculous bantha fodder! Why should I want for a wife at the prime of my life, while working for the Resistance?" He muttered to himself as he lazily strolled to lounge on his chaise-longue. His ante-chamber was where he'd take his breakfast and morning tea. He opened the book once more, absolutely curious what all this nonsense was about a Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet. It was all the rage with the women in the base, while the men were eagerly trying to figure out how they could learn the from this popular Mr. Darcy.

"What are you reading there Poe?" came a female voice from behind him. It was a voice he had grown accustomed to and was very fond of, one that used to soothe him as a child crying for his dead mother.

"General! I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you this early in the morning. Otherwise I would've…" As was Poe's custom every morning, he would step out of his bedroom with just his pyjamas and a robe to warm him on chilly mornings such as these. To a young woman, seeing a man in such a state of undress was too intimate, fortunately for Poe this was no young woman, thereby excusing him from the inappropriate awkwardness of it all.

"Oh, tut-tut. Don't worry about it, nothing I've never seen before. Besides I've known you since you were a child, you're practically family." As Leia Organa-Solo made her way to sit across him, Poe tightened his black and white robe around him, making sure that he was completely covered. A gentleman after all must at all times be as presentable, well in this case as close to presentable, as possible.

As always, the General looked every bit as regal as was customary of her station. She was elegantly dressed in a floor length, white empire dress made of the finest muslin, on top of which she wore a greyish-blue Spencer to keep her warm. She looked at Poe and cheekily said, "Now, what's this I overheard about a wealthy, single man wanting a wife? You know that does sound quite like you, except the wanting a wife portion. Although I can't understand why you've yet to decide on marrying Poe. You're such a…" Oh no, he thought, here she goes again with her marriage speech. He had heard this at least ten times since he turned thirty-two earlier that Spring. He missed out on some of the arguments she was positing to him as he had heard her multiple times already.

"You're handsome, intelligent, highly-ranked in the Resistance, practically a hero, quite wealthy and landed I may add, quite stubborn at times, but aren't all men? Then of course…" He cut her speech short as respectfully as he could, "General, shall we get back to why you called on me so early in the morning? I thought we were to have a briefing at ten o'clock? If I'm not mistaken it's only eight thirty." The General had never paid him such early morning visits so he assumed this was a matter of utmost urgency.

"Ah yes of course, I got carried away again didn't I? You know I just want to see you happy. Well I'm sure you've heard Rey will finally be joining us in the Resistance? She's finally graduated from the Academy and is currently vacationing in Naboo before coming back. I daresay you remember her, slight young thing with dark brown hair and eyes? Your precious BB-8 would always disappear when she'd come to visit. You do know how quite headstrong she is, mostly refuses to have a man guard her, insists she can take care of herself…"

Poe was a very experienced strategist and communicator thus he could very well read into where the General was going with these statements. She was easing him in to something, he may as well cut to the chase. "I do remember her, she used to challenge me to a horse race every now and then when she was younger. But where do I fit into all of this? General, please don't tell me I'm to be assigned as a bodyguard? Surely I've made enough of a name for myself not to be assigned such a mission?"

Leia eyed him carefully knowing full well Poe's character, "My dear Poe, you know I wouldn't make you a bodyguard!" She remains silent for a moment, choosing her words wisely, "Luke and I need you to pretend you're her fiancé. A bodyguard would immediately call the attention of the ton in Naboo and the First Order. We've been given intel by our spies that the First Order is after her and has been watching her very closely. We don't know why but we've been told that they are trying to recruit her. We need your help Poe, please? This is too delicate a matter to be given to just anyone. We need someone we trust with her life and you Poe are the only man we can trust." Leia never pleaded, he knew that much. She was a strong-willed woman and for her to be begging him for his help, for his protection of the Resistance's heir, he knew the threat was indeed very serious.

Commander Poe Dameron was never one to turn down a challenge. More than anything this was a duty and a personal request being asked from him by his Princess— she hated being called that— General. "How could I ever say no to you? While I do recall Rey being a headstrong girl, I do remember her telling me one time how she told her schoolmates she'd never marry unless it were for love. It's going to take some convincing to get her to pretend we're engaged."

"Well she does know you're coming for her. She's known for about two weeks now of this plan and has thus begun planting the seeds that she's been keeping your courtship a secret for some time. She knows everything down to the fact that you will be proposing and posting your engagement in the paper." Poe's head was spinning as Leia further explained the plan. It's not that he wasn't accustomed to military tactics or assuming false identities; this was just an entirely different strategy, one that he wasn't sure he knew how to play. How does one pretend to be a man in love, a man soon to be affianced at that?

"Poe? Poe?" Leia said with a look of worry on her face. "I know you weren't expecting this sort of assignment but you're the only one we can trust with Rey's life."

He signed up for the Resistance and part of committing to a role meant committing to who he was serving. It was his duty to serve the Skywalkers and it should thus be an honour to protect one of their heirs. He worried about this mission. He wasn't sure why but his instinct told him something was about to change in his life and he was afraid because he didn't know what that change was going to be.

Poe stood up, saluted and said, "It would be an honour to protect your niece, General. I will do everything in my power to protect her from the First Order."

"Thank you Poe. Now, I shall take my leave and let you finish your breakfast. I think I've interrupted long enough. We can further discuss travel plans after the briefing. See you at ten o'clock then."

This was going to be a long day after all. Teaching new riders and fighting on the battlefield was much easier than what he needed to do: pretend he knew how to be a fiancé and care so much about propriety, social graces and dancing. Kriffing hell, dancing! It's not that he didn't know how to dance, he just thought it was a ridiculous pastime done to forget about the war that was going on. A Commander of the Resistance having to dance? He pushed all those worries aside for later, he had to finish up his breakfast and get dressed. The last thing he wanted was to be late for the briefing because he was shocked with his new assignment.

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun…" Rey read aloud to Jessika. Her face was beginning to scrunch up in disgust, not quite believing the words she was reading.

Jessika eyed her knowingly, "Rey, what is with you and your fear of romance? You do realise that's what adds excitement and spice to a relationship right? You don't want a boring romance, you want a story that you can tell your children and grandchildren!"

Rey had suitors in the past but none that ever really caught enough of her attention, no one to match her wit and quick remarks. "It's a bit dramatic though don't you think? I mean shouldn't she have been able to tell that she was falling for Mr. Darcy? Seems quite ridiculous that she's so unaware of the growing feelings for him!"

"Speaking of feelings… what about this young Lord of yours coming to fetch you? You have told me bits and pieces about him over the past few weeks and he seems to be a man who could make you happy. Unless of course I've misinterpreted your feelings and stories?" Jessika observed Rey's reaction to her questions. She had known Rey their entire boarding school life and prided herself with being able to sometimes read Rey's expressions and statements.

"Poe? Well yes he is very handsome I daresay. But I'm not too sure it's the right time to be thinking that way…" Rey was lying through her teeth and to her best friend no less. She hated that she had to pretend about all this but she had to do it for her safety and in consequence for Poe's as well.

"At our age, it's never too early to get an eligible bachelor to propose! He's a gentleman of good breeding, a Lord in the Republic, and he's clearly ready to settle down and start a family. He wouldn't be coming all the way to Naboo to fetch you if he weren't planning something," Jessika wiggled her eyebrows and grinned with mischief at her best friend.

"Jess, if you're so convinced of what a great man he is why don't you marry him?" Rey giggled. Jess scoffed at her suggestion. "If he can beat me at riding, fencing, shooting and combat, then I'll begin to consider taking you up on your offer." Jess, like Rey, was one of the top performers in boarding school and believed in a relationship that would also be a partnership. "Besides, like I said he seems to be in love with you already. He is coming for you after all! I'm sure a Republic Lord has a very busy schedule and is constantly in demand. And to…"

"Alright Jess, I get it. I get it. Promise me you'll behave though? Please? No inappropriate comments." Rey was anxious about all this. She remembered Poe well enough to know that he was handsome and friendly but was always bound to his duties. Knowing him he'd refuse to dance with her.

"No promises, but I shall do my best!" Jess grinned mischievously.

A rap at Rey's bedroom door called their attention. "Come in," Rey said to the unknown knocker.

"Lord Dameron has arrived Ma'm. Shall we show him his rooms and lead him to the parlour to wait for you?" Maz, her lady's maid, questioned her with a knowing look in her eyes. Maz had been a loyal servant in her family for as long as she could remember. She could always read Rey's mind for some unusual reason.

"Thank you Maz, that would be of much help. Please tell Lord Dameron that I'll be down in 5 minutes." Rey had to keep a facade, reminding herself that part of her first mission was pretending to be in love with the Commander and allowing herself to be engaged to him. Nothing could have ever prepared her for this.

"As you wish, Ma'm." Maz bowed out and made her way back to the Commander.

"He's here… I wasn't expecting him till tomorrow. I thought we'd have one last day together, Jess. I'm so sorry." Rey said with concern on her face.

"Rey please don't worry about it. I must say though, this convinces me even more how passionately in love he is with you. He's a day early because he couldn't stay away from you any longer! Honestly Rey, I'd be surprised if he doesn't propose within a fortnight."

Rey was struggling to contain her nervousness. She had to play the part even in front of Jess. "Stop exaggerating Jess! Besides, he's probably here earlier so we can make it back to the Resistance Base earlier than planned. Let me just add some rouge to my cheeks before we go down," Rey stood up from where she was seated and walked to her boudoir to add some colour to her cheeks.

As they walked down the staircase, they could hear Poe talking, "BB-8, sit. Please relax. I know you're excited to see Rey but can you please just sit still? Stay… Stay… That's my boy!" Rey couldn't help but grin as she heard who else was there with Poe. It had been nearly a year since she was home last due to her last two semesters in school. She had too much to attend to and finish in her last year hence her not being able to visit the base. She missed playing with BB-8 and riding her Chestnut horse around the base. She missed her freedom to roam the grounds Rey was so deep in thought that she did not notice she and Jess were already in the parlour.

"Rey… Is it really you?" a familiar, masculine voice woke her from her daze.


	2. Chapter 2: Memories and Nightmares

Chapter 2: Memories and Nightmares

Poe was quietly petting Beebee-Ate, his loyal red bloodhound, in an attempt to relax the excited dog. Being a bloodhound, Beebee could smell Rey all over the parlour and began frantically searching for her. Poe fondly remembered when his companion would disappear from his side whenever Rey visited the base. One moment he was by his side and the next the bloodhound was running off to the carriage that clearly had Rey as a passenger. He broke out of his reverie when he heard the parlour doors swing wide open and there she was, the slight, brown-eyed girl—no, she was no longer a girl…

Poe's eyes widened in shock as his mind attempted to process that the Rey he knew before was the same beautiful young woman standing before him. She was elegantly dressed in a pale blue Empire line dress made of the finest silk. He noted that her usual three-bun hairstyle was replaced with a fashionable up-do, her dark curls gently framing her face. She had a warmth to her cheeks that reminded him of when she used to race him on the base and a brightness in her eyes that craved for adventure. This wasn't the Rey of almost two years back. There still was an innocence in her air but today there was a self-confidence and pride that was lacking in the past. Her brown eyes promised mischief and practiced wit. He could not believe that the woman before him was Rey, and as was his custom he knew exactly what to say to taunt a reaction out of her.

"Rey… Is it really you? I don't quite remember you being so cleaned up. You're usually running about in riding clothes for men," the mirth in Poe's eyes mixed with his cheeky words were enough to rile Rey up.

"Oh Poe it's just like you to ruin our meeting after being separated for so long! You clearly just miss me," two can play at this game she thought. "You're a day early, it seems someone is quite desperate to see me," she added with a smirk on her face. Touché!

"Not really… Beebee-Ate here was just anxious to get out of the carriage so we sped things up a bit." He gave himself a pat on the back for that quip as his dog enthusiastically made his way to Rey. All she could do in reply was roll her eyes, ignoring him and walking to meet Beebee halfway.

"Beebee-Ate! It's been too long! Has your master been treating you well? No? Oh do tell me all the evil things he's been doing," As if in response to Rey's queries Beebee-Ate barked excitedly, quite like a human reuniting with his long lost friend and catching up on lost time. Poe caught himself observing Rey and how happily she petted and spoke to his dog. He heard a ruffling sound coming from the other side of the room and it was only then that he noticed there was another young woman in the parlour with them. Rey's companion was also dark haired but slightly shorter than her. She too was very elegantly dressed but her eyes betrayed a fierceness and fire that was not common among the young women of the Republic. Only as he observed these things did he realise how ungentlemanly he was being and how Rey had completely forgotten to introduce them to one another.

"Kriffi—ahem, forgive my rudeness but I don't think we've met before, Ms…?" he sincerely apologised to Jess as he steadily walked to where she was seated.

"Ms. Pava. Lord Dameron I take it? Rey's told me so much about you," she grinned wickedly at Rey. "Although she never did tell me you were so handsome. I daresay she was trying to keep you a secret all to herself. I can see why. Tell me Lord Dameron, what are your intentions toward my best friend?" Poe was absolutely correct in his judgment of Ms. Pava, she was bright and had a fire within her that she clearly did not reign in as other women did. He had to be careful with this friend of hers or his mission could fail.

Poe clears his throat, feigning discomfort at such a bold question from someone he had just met, "Ms. Pava, I assure you I have the utmost respect for Rey and the banter you witnessed is one of old friends. My intentions are completely noble…"

"Jess, don't frighten poor Lord Dameron." Did she just call him frightened and poor? He definitely couldn't have her saying such things about him in public. He was going to have a word with her regarding how their plan was going to fall into place. "Poe, as you've seen Jess is quite bold in her comments, quite like me don't you think?" Rey giggled as she continued petting Beebee-Ate, who was quite content to just lay on the carpet and listen to his Master talk.

"Quite… now my dear, may we have a private chat in your Father's library? Ms. Pava, I do hope you don't mind but I need a word with my… err… with Rey," he said and blushed slightly at the near slip. He'd almost said fiancé even before his actual proposal. What the devil was that about, he scolded himself for the near slip of the tongue. He would have to be more careful with what came out of his mouth.

"Now don't be gone too long or I'll have to write the Lady Leia and Lord Luke for such scandalous behaviour! And yes Rey I did learn about some things in the Academy," Jess waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Good grief Rey's friend was going to be a handful he thought to himself.

As the couple quietly walked out of the room, leaving Beebee-Ate and Jess to get acquainted, they heard Jess shout out "Behave you two!"

"Oh Mother of Kwath!" Rey shook her head in embarrassment at her friend's comments. She was going to have another word with her later in the day. "Please don't mind Jess' inappropriateness. She's worse than me and as you would call it she's quite a wild child."

They remained silent as they walked the rest of the way to the West Wing of the townhouse where Lord Skywalker's library was located. As Poe was a gentleman he opened the door for Rey to enter first. He quietly shut the door behind him so as not to call attention to themselves. Secrecy was their ally and he could not take the chance that some eavesdropping servant may be lurking nearby.

"Tell me Poe… Why are you really here a day early? What's going on? My Aunt and I have been in communication and I know of the plans. Couldn't you have given me just one more day of freedom?" Rey was being overly dramatic she knew that. She wanted more time in town as it reminded her of her Mother. Even at this age a part of her still hoped she would come back. Going back to the Resistance Base meant going into hiding, leaving behind a life she had grown so used to in Naboo. Poe observed her quietly from where he stood, not wanting to scare her off by letting the wrong choice of words spill out of his mouth. But he knew she could take it, she was strong and he believed she had the right to know.

"It's worse than we thought Princess," he knew that the familiar nickname would help ease her, "we received word from our spies about three days ago that you're being tailed by a bounty hunter hired by the First Order. I had to get here as soon as I could because, well, you know why I'm here. I'm here to protect you… not as your bodyguard but as your soon-to-be- fiancé. You know the rest, I know I need not remind you."

Rey could not believe the words coming out of his mouth, his saying the words just made the circumstances they had to face more real. He knew the vow she made to herself not so long ago. Poe immediately noticed the panic in her eyes and in an attempt to comfort her he slowly walked to her and added, "I know this was not your plan for yourself Rey. You told me not too long ago abut marrying for love… You will have that, I swear it, but for now we must pretend to keep you safe. It's only until we've safely made it back to the base. We just have to pretend for a month; after that, when we get to the Base, we can go back to the way things were."

"A month long charade is too long…" she asked herself why she was so afraid of this faux engagement. It wasn't real, it would end before she'd even notice it had begun. "But as agreed with my aunt and father I need to mingle with the ton, pretend everything is at should be, pretend that my family is still loyal to the Republic. Kriffing hell Jess believes you're a Lord in the Republic not a Commander in the Resistance!" she nearly shrieked in frustration. She was desperately trying to remain calm but all of these military strategies were creeping up on her, reminding her of who she really was and that her fate was not with the ton in the Republic but with the Resistance.

"Rey… I will do what I must to protect you and if that means attending a few parties, making house calls, shopping and the like I will. I wouldn't be a very devoted fiancé if I didn't. As for Jess and everyone else around us, we will continue the charade for as long as we must. You need not worry about me being found out, the Resistance has allies among the ton and I still am known in the Republic as Lord Dameron. No one knows of my identity as a Commander in the Resistance, it's a very well kept secret. Yavin is too deep in the country for them to be suspicious of otherwise. My Father and the servants in my estate have gave grown accustomed to saying I'm off travelling and gallivanting as young bachelors do. That is what they know of what I do, only my Father truly knows I'm in the Resistance. And as far as the ton is concerned I'm a dashing rogue of a Lord always in search of a way to use up my inheritance."

Rey knew it was unladylike but she snorted at that last bit of his speech, "You just had to ruin what you were saying by adding that latter bit didn't you? Alright, I understand. It's all planned out and strategised. It's also rather dramatic and definitely has a touch of my Aunt in it. But then you too have your moments of melodramatics…" she eyed him mischievously, daring him to spar with her.

Ignoring her suggestion that he had a hand in this plan he decided to say, "Speaking of melodramatics, how dramatic were you in proclaiming to Ms. Pava your passionate love for me? She seems quite convinced of our romantic entanglement and that you kept my dashing, good looks as a secret so you could keep me all to yourself," he said suggestively with a waggle of his thick, black eyebrows.

Poe knew just what to say to make her lose her mind, but she knew him just as well. Their sparring of words had always been a part of their friendship, if you could call it that, and it was something she could never experience with anyone else. There was a moment in time where she fancied herself in love with him, until that fateful day almost two winters ago. He was the first man to ever snub her in a dance where the company of young men were very much wanting. And it was in that very party that she overheard him saying to a friend how she wasn't handsome enough to tempt him into a dance. She was a girl back then, only nineteen, and she felt that stab at her pride and insecurities. In an instant, all the love she thought she had for him disappeared. Poe never learned of her hurt and while she was conveniently away in the Academy she didn't have to see him, talk to him or write to him. Her education and training helped her forget the pain. She could pretend like he did not exist and she could focus all her anger and disappointment into becoming the best in the Academy.

And yet here she was, standing beside the man she claimed to loathe not so long ago, bantering with him just like when she would visit the Resistance Base every summer and winter. She was unconsciously letting her walls down again and that terrified her. Rey refused to fall for his charms once again, she'd only find herself in the same old heartbroken predicament of years past.

"If you can play a part, so can I. Really Lord Dameron, you aren't the only one who's mastered the art of strategy and trickery," she said sternly. "A lot has changed since we saw each other last. I'm no longer a child begging for attention and love. I know when a situation calls for an act of deception and that is all I am doing."

"I can see that," he quietly replied to her. He brought his gaze up to meet hers and pleaded, "Please Rey let us try to be friends? The mission will be much easier for us both if we agree to make peace with the past and be friends once more. We need to make it absolutely clear that I've decided to settle down with the heir to the Skywalker fortune. Everyone will consider it a grand match and will shut up about any possible suspicions of where our loyalties truly lie. We will pay our respects to the Republic, play our part and supposedly leave for my estate in the country to be married quietly. To get away with such a plan we need to be, at the very least, friends, not just allies. We only have one another to trust…"

Rey eyed him warily, considering the weight of his words in her mind. She did miss the old days when she could call him "friend" but she was afraid. The past was behind her, true; what mattered was the present and what lay ahead for the both of them. She told herself this as she also decided to keep better guard of her heart. In an attempt to answer his question on friendship, she stood up from her Father's chair, walked to where Poe was standing by the fireplace and reached out her hand for him to shake. Poe watched her with curiosity and— was that hope? No, she thought, don't be silly, he's just hoping to be good friends once more. Instead of taking her hand to shake, he gently held her hand, slowly bent down and softly kissed her knuckles. She could feel the soft curls on his head lightly graze her hand, already she could feel the slight shiver traveling from her neck down to her spine.

"Friends then?" he asked after, looking into her brown eyes. She stared at him for a brief moment and said, "I'd like that…," she let go of his hand and walked towards the door, motioning for him to follow her. "Perhaps we should go back to Jess, we don't want her suspecting we've been up to other… activities," she almost choked on that last word.

"Right, of course!" He gave her his left arm to hold onto and she graciously accepted. After such a heavy conversation, he could not help but talk about lighter more trivial things. "I noticed your Father particularly enjoys collecting bits and pieces of metal. I saw a lot of it in his library, along with multiple drawings of contraptions that had wings."

"You do pay close attention to details don't you Poe?" she smiled fondly at him. "Father believes that humans will one day be able to fly in the air through aerodynamics. If my memory isn't failing me, you too are fascinated by the possibility of flying."

"So were you if I may add," he said in reply. This was good, they were talking as they did not too long ago. He wondered what happened between them after that winter party he refused to dance in; she seemed so aloof and detached after it. He took it as her just being disappointed that he wouldn't dance but when she stopped writing to him altogether he knew something had changed. While they weren't accustomed to writing each other weekly, every other week they would correspond, updating one another on their daily lives and musings. Back then he considered it as a very innocent conversation with a family friend. Looking back he realised that perhaps it wasn't as innocent as he pretended it to be.

"Believe it or not, I still am. Defying the odds of gravity, traveling to new places while soaring through the air. It's absolutely something I could see myself enjoying. I mean if riding is thrilling to me, feeling the wind in my hair, riding fast without a care, I can only imagine how much more exciting it would be to fly. For all we know there are places beyond our wildest imaginings outside of this planet." Poe studied Rey's face, she had this wistful look about her, as if she were in that moment of flight, truly picturing herself up in the air soaring above the clouds and among the stars. Although she no longer was a child, there was a carefree expression that lit up her face, and for a moment he was once again reminded of how they used to race one another on the base's grounds.

They had finally reached the parlour doors when to their surprise it swung wide open. Jess had opened the door for them, "Finally! The lovestruck fools are back! I was so close to having Maz look for you…" she said to them cheekily. She rolled her eyes when she saw their scandalised expressions, "Oh for goodness sake I was only teasing! Relax! Although I do have to say Beebe-Ate here has been getting quite frisky. I think he's hungry for dinner. I know I'm famished and can't wait for dinner. Rey, shall we get ready then? It's almost six."

"Yes, we should change for dinner. I'll have Maz remind the kitchen that we will be dining at half past seven. That should be enough time to set the food on the table. I instructed them earlier today on the menu. Poe, shall we?" The couple and Jess left the parlour with Beebe-Ate following his master close behind.

As they walked up the grand staircase, Poe's attention was caught by the portrait hanging on the wall: Rey's mother. He remembered her and how young Rey was when she disappeared. Nobody knew what happened to her, whether she was kidnapped, passed away somewhere or simply chose to disappear. Poe knew what it was like to lose a parent, he had lost his Mother to pneumonia when he was still young. While it was a dull ache for him, he was lucky in the sense that he had closure. His mothers' death was final. But for Rey and her family to never have answers, to never have that understanding of what happened, was an entirely different sort of pain. It was a pain that would linger for the rest of their lives, haunting them unless by some miracle they find the answers.

He hesitated to comment on the portrait but Rey spoke up to fill in the awkward silence, "My Mother was beautiful wasn't she? I can't remember all that much about her but till this day I think back to what she said to me: 'I'll come back, sweetheart. I promise.' But she never came back. A part of me still hopes that perhaps she will come back, I suppose I'll never know." Poe could clearly see the pained expression in her eyes, a pain she tried to keep as hidden as possible. She was stubborn and strong in that way, something he came to admire in her.

"I'm sorry…," No other words could be said. "Don't be," she replied. "It was a long time ago. I just hope she's found peace, wherever she may be." It was those words that all the more opened Poe's eyes to the young woman walking beside him. She truly had grown up in their time apart. Although she felt a lingering pain, she knew there was no point in continuing to dwell on it. Rey knew it was time to focus on the future.

"Well, these are your rooms. I hope you find them to your liking," she smiled gently at him. "We'll knock on your door at a quarter past seven so we can all walk down together. Rest a bit my dear for you've been travelling for quite some time."

"As you wish, Princess," he smiled back as she let go of his arm. "See you in an hour then." He turned the brass knob of his bedroom door and with a quick last glance at Rey entered his room.

"Poe… Poe… Poe! It's Rey…"

Poe bolted up from the sofa bed in his ante-chamber; he had fallen asleep from exhaustion. As his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room he realised that the muffled voice and knocking that woke him up was indeed Rey. He checked his pocket watch for the time and true enough it was almost half past seven. "I'm coming! Be out in a minute," he shouted. He hurriedly shrugged on his dinner jacket and checked his cravat for good measure before briskly walking to the door. His hair was hopeless to fix at that point, it was always unruly to begin with and added to his roguish charms.

"Rey, Ms. Pava, I'm terribly sorry for keeping you both waiting! I hope you haven't been standing here long," he said apologetically as he offered his arm for Rey to take. As Rey tentatively held on to him she directed her attention to his face, she could see the sincerity and tiredness in his eyes. He was exhausted from his long journey. "It's no matter, I can see how tired you are. We could just quickly have dinner so that you can go to bed early." He nodded in agreement.

"Alright enough with all the romantic affection, I'm famished. Let's not keep the food waiting or it'll turn cold! I hate cold roast beef. Hurry along lovebirds," Jess said teasingly. She walked on ahead of the couple as she really did feel the need to satisfy her hunger as soon as possible.

The dining room was as elegant as the rest of the townhouse, but unlike other townhouses this was an additional private dining room located at the back of the townhouse and opening up to the garden. While it hinted the fashion of the time, it had a lavishness to it that Poe had not seen in any townhouse he visited before. It was unique and revealed a lot of the character of the Skywalker family, their desire for a certain sense of privacy away from the curious eyes of people on the street. The windows were as tall as the walls and were clearly designed to be swung open during hot summer days, allowing young children to run in and out of the garden and dining room. He could imagine a young Rey running in from the garden, calling out to her father and demanding attention.

The relatively large room had a high ceiling with a beautiful silver candle-lit chandelier. While the colour of the room was neither bright nor dark, the pastel green paint of the walls white embellishments suggested a woman's choosing. The furniture was of the finest mahogany with gold trimming, revealing that while the Skywalkers could be fashionable their practicality in their personal lives was important to them, there was no point in replacing perfectly elegant furniture in their private quarters. The floor beneath the dining table meant for six people was carpeted to match the colour of the walls.

"Shall we?" Rey said motioning to the table.

"Of course," Poe said, guiding her to the head of the table. He waited for Ms. Pava and her to sit before taking his own seat to her left. Rey rang the bell to call in the servants to serve the first course. They quietly entered the room carrying the first course of the meal: Soup, Vegetables, Roasted Beef, Spinage, Bacon, and Vegetables.

Their conversation steered towards the past year and what Ms. Pava and Rey had endured throughout their final year in the Academy. While they complained of the day-to-day etiquette classes, including those classes that taught them how to mange their homes, they spoke enthusiastically of their horseback riding, combat, self-defence and fencing. Every respectable woman knew those arts as they were vital in managing a safe home for their families. Ms. Pava proudly told Poe how Rey would constantly top their classes, particularly combat, horseback riding fencing, and self-defence. She later teasingly added that she was second best to Rey because she would let Rey win. To which Poe added how clearly he remembered his races and combat trainings with Rey. "She learned from the best in the Republic you know," he said to Ms. Pava, who in response laughed at his vain comment.

The rest of the meal passed in comfortable conversation and plans for the following day. Before breakfast, the ladies would pass by their favourite dressmaker as they all had a ball to attend that Saturday. Ms. Pava had some calls to make afterwards and thus Poe and Rey had the day all to themselves. Once dessert was done, Poe excused himself to retire to his rooms for the night as he knew the ladies still wanted their evening tea in the parlour.

"Oh yes of course Poe! Please go ahead. We'll see you in the morning for breakfast. The servants will bring up a bathtub and some hot water for you to freshen up before bed. Don't hesitate to ask Maz for anything and make yourself at home." Rey knew how Poe could stand on such ceremony, she had to make it clear that he didn't always have to do so around Jess and her. After all, they had to feign familiarity in the eyes of her friend. This was just a way for her to make it more obvious she told herself.

Poe surprised Rey yet again as he gently took her hand, kissed it and bade the ladies a good night. His back turned to the ladies, Jess winked at Rey as if to say "I told you so" regarding his feelings for her. She was getting used to their small gestures of affection and with Jess' reactions she knew that they were getting better at this charade however new it all was. Then again he was a Resistance man, a military strategist who knew what he was doing. And she, well, she knew the risk of being exposed if they were to be found out. These were dangerous times, she knew it and she could not risk making a mistake for her safety and for his.

He was on his black horse, racing with Rey to make it back to the Resistance Base. He could hear her close behind him, taunting him that she was going to catch up and outride him. "Not if I can help it, Princess!" He shouts back to her. The sun was high up in the sky, no clouds threatening to release rain on them, an all together lovely summer day. He felt so alive, so free. He loved riding there was no doubt about that and he enjoyed racing Rey whenever she was at the Base. She was the only one capable of matching his speed, style and precision. "I'm going to win flyboy, just you wait and see!" she shouted as she neared him and his horse. She was catching up to him faster than he expected.

As they rode faster through the dirt road in the woods, Poe was beginning to see the Resistance Base's main mansion, D'Qar Hall. The first to make it in front of the Hall's entrance would be the proclaimed winner and would have to take charge of giving Beebee-Ate his bath after the Squadron's scouting mission. They were out of the woods already and on the gravel path winding to the Hall's entrance. D'Qar Hall, the hidden estate of General Leia Organa, was situated on the opposite side of the valley. It was a handsome, large building made of stone, behind which was a ridge of woody hills. In front of the building was a stream that naturally swelled greater horizontally to the Hall's main entrance. The banks were neither falsely nor formally adorned. It was an estate that charmingly wove together nature and man-made structures.

Much of the Hall and land was occupied by the members of the Resistance with their combat training and fencing mostly done in-doors and underground. It was a place Poe had learned to call home for some time and indeed it was a beautiful home, one that came quite close to Yavin Hall. But he knew that for Rey, the Hall reminded her of the heavy weight on her shoulders, an inheritance to a battle that she wasn't sure she could win or lead one day. "Hurry up Rey or you'll be washing Beebee-Ate tomorrow!" he teased. He looked behind him only to find that Rey was nowhere to be found. He stopped his horse, worried that something had happened to Rey. He couldn't hear anything around him. It was absolute silence, how could she have disappeared without him noticing? He motioned his horse to gallop back to the end of the road, towards the woods.

"Rey! Where are you? Rey!" He heard a shuffle of hooves by the neck of the woods and there clear as day was a black horse with a rider dressed in black as well, his face hidden by a black mask. In his arms was an unconscious Rey, her horse nowhere to be found. The rider was taunting him, daring him to chase after him and rescue her. No, no this couldn't be happening! He had to go after her, even if that meant falling into a trap of the First Order. How could they know their location? Should he alert the Base? Without a second thought he chased after Rey and her unknown kidnapper.

"Rey! The First Order!" He was shouting as loud as he could, not to wake her up but for those who might be near to hear him and be warned that a First Order rider had found Rey and him.

"Rey!" he kept shouting out and as he tried to chase after her and speed up his horse, everything seemed to slow down. The world around him was changing, the clouds creeped in, the rumbling of thunder in the clouds followed by lightning shedding the only light that earlier the sun had provided. The rain was pouring on him now, his horse struggling. He could no longer see the black figure and Rey.

It was too late… they were both gone. He had failed his mission, he failed to protect Rey. He failed her…


	3. The Light That's Always Been There

The grandfather clock struck midnight alerting Jess and Rey that it was time to retire to their rooms. Rey let out a long, tired yawn, ready to walk up to her rooms and get a good night's sleep. "Jess, I'm exhausted, let's get some rest. We've both got to get out of bed early for our appointment in the dressmaker. I doubt you'd want to look like the dead when we go out in public tomorrow. Who knows who we might run into! Lord Wexley for example…" she giggled to her best friend as she got up from the sofa and walked to the parlour doors.

"I cannot understand how you could ever think I'd fall for Lord Wexley. He's such a giant goofball! He's ridiculous really," Jess replied with clear annoyance. She wasn't used to being teased as she was quite often the one taunting her friends and acquaintances.

"Oh don't be such a grump. I was only teasing. I only brought him up because he seemed quite taken by you during our last ball!" Rey added, further teasing her friend. Jess was too tired to think of a quip in reply and grumpily harrumphed instead. They were softly treading by Poe's rooms when Rey suddenly heard muffled cries. Jess was too lethargic to pay any heed to the sound coming from his room and simply walked past.

"Jess, I'll see you in the morning. Good night! I realised that I left something in the library," Rey lied. There was no point in letting Jess know that she'd be bursting into Poe's rooms to check on the terrified cries coming from the inside. She heard a mumbled good night from Jess and knew that her best friend would have gladly retired to her own rooms before her.

Rey waited to hear Jess lock her chamber doors before she quietly entered Poe's locked room. She had a master key that opened all the rooms of their home, a safety precaution on her part. She immediately shut and locked the door to Poe's ante-chamber and clearly heard the terrified cries coming from his bedroom. "Rey! Where are you?! Rey! Rey! The First Order! Rey!" he cried out, his voice laced with fear and pain. Momentarily stunned at his words, she could not move from her spot, she wondered why she was in his nightmare and what was going on.

He cried her name out once more and she took this as a sign that she needed to enter his bedchamber. She opened it to find him on his four-poster bed thrashing about and frightfully near the edge. "Poe" she said as she neared his bed. "Poe, wake up. It's only a dream. Poe…" She tentatively moved closer to him, slightly afraid for she had never been to a man's room before, much more a man's bed. Unsure as to what she should do, but determined to wake him, she moved closer to him, gently touched his arm and desperately tried to nudge him awake. "Poe, wake up please? It's all just a bad dream. Wake up!" all sense of propriety gone, she sat beside him and tenderly touched his cheeks in an attempt to calm him and wake him up from his dream. "Poe, it's Rey. I'm right here. Poe, the First Order isn't here. Poe, please wake up, please. You're safe," she said to soothe him. Her hand continued its soothing ministrations on his face, smoothing back the dark curls from his forehead, and it was as she did this and whispered calming words to him that he half woke from his nightmare.

"Rey, I thought you were gone. I thought I had failed you," he choked out. He was evidently in between the dream world and wakefulness. He would never choose such words if he were completely awake she thought. "No, I'm right here Poe. I'm alright, you haven't failed me," she quietly replied to him.

"I'm so sorry Rey. I didn't mean to leave you back there. We shouldn't have had that race to begin with," he replied still not fully awake as he held on to her arm. She got up from his bed, walked to the nearby table and poured a glass of water for him to drink. Perhaps that would wake him completely. "Here Poe, drink up, this should help wake you up. You were merely dreaming. I'm safe. We're both safe." She helped him hold the glass to his lips, emptying it till there wasn't a drop left. He was more lucid with each gulp of water, realisation dawning on him that indeed it had just been a nightmare.

Poe nodded at her as she gently took the glass away from his lips, "Thank you…" was all he could say, for although he did not show it he was ashamed of being found in such a state. Rey did not want to leave him but she knew he needed his rest, "I'll wait for you to fall back asleep and then I shall take my leave." She noticed that he was more calm now, breathing steadily and heart rate slowing down. She began to hum a lullaby, one that sounded very much like the one he taught her not so long ago. It was the lullaby his mother used to sing to him as a child, a song that never failed to calm his nerves and put him into a deep, peaceful slumber. Within a minute or two of Rey's soothing hums, he fell back asleep with the thought that she was safely with him.

Rey quietly stood up from his bed, walked to Beebe-Ate and whispered softly, "Keep a good watch on your Master Beebee, let's hope that he sleeps well through the night now." She opened the door to his ante-chamber and carefully shut the door so as not to wake him. While she could not help but wonder what brought on his nightmare, she was too exhausted to reflect on it, she too desperately craved sleep.

As she lay in bed, she fell asleep with the thought that perhaps Poe was more concerned for her than he showed and would consciously like to admit.

She had woken up because Maz had drawn the curtains wide open, telling her without words that it was time to get ready for the dressmaker's. While her eyes were still adjusting to the bright sunlight spilling into her room, she revelled in the fact that it was another day in Naboo. She didn't have to worry all that much yet regarding the Resistance and had another day to enjoy just being a young woman in a city that was so alive and vibrant. But then she remembered Poe had arrived the day before and she had comforted him as he screamed her name in his nightmares. Poe was the constant, present reminder that she had a duty to the Resistance, a mission to fulfil no matter how desperately she wanted to run from it. No matter how hard she tried, she could not keep running from her destiny.

"Such dark thoughts in the morning," she muttered to herself with exasperation. "No, I shall enjoy this morning with Jess. I must enjoy myself! No point in overthinking the future." Maz overheard her saying these things as she helped her get ready, wise as always she told Rey, "Dear child, I know how afraid you are of the future and what it holds. I've known you since you were very young, but you have to know that the person you've been waiting for, I can see it in your eyes, you've known it all along… she's not coming back. The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead my dear girl. And as painful and terrifying as that may be to you, you must remember you are not alone in this." Rey did not know what to reply to her, she was so accustomed to Maz's comforting words but this, this was both comfort and pain.

"I'm so afraid Maz… what if I cannot be who they expect me to be? What if I can't be the leader they need? I cannot afford to fail," she whispered the only words she could get out of her. "You will not fail. Remember what I always told you about the light? It's always been there. It will guide you especially when you feel most lost and afraid. Just let it in." And with those final words she finished helping Rey with her toilette and excused herself from the room, leaving Rey to ponder on everything she had said earlier.

Not wanting to think much more that morning, she got up from her dresser to check on her friend. They were scheduled to meet with the dressmaker at nine and refused to be late. She gently knocked on Jess' door to which her friend responded by opening the door. "Good morning Rey of sunshine! My you don't look much like sunshine at the moment though, you seem to have storm clouds above your head," her friend greeted. "I do not have a storm cloud above my head! I was just troubling myself over not being late for our appointment. Well, let's go then shall we?" she was hurrying her friend in an attempt to change the subject and quickly erase the worry lines creasing her forehead.

They walked hurriedly to their awaiting carriage, eager to see their dresses for the much anticipated winter ball. It was the annual Winter Ball privately thrown by Hosnian royalty. Only the prominent families of the Republic were invited to this ball, thus forcing Rey and Jess to dress their most elegant. They were graduates of the Academy as well as heirs from families in the Republic, Poe too had to be at his absolute best at the ball for they would be at the mercy of the Republic's scrutiny.

Clark and Debenham was the most fashionable dressmaker in Naboo, known for their cuts that accentuated whatever assets a woman physically had. They knew precisely how to design a dress according to what the woman wanted to call attention to or hide, with propriety considered of course, in order to be deemed more beautiful. While the large boutique was open to the public at certain hours of the day, appointments could be made as well wherein the whole boutique was closed off and ladies who had scheduled their fittings with them had all the privacy and attention they needed. As it was still early in the day, Rey and Jess were one of the few ladies that had a scheduled appointment. While awaiting their gowns to be brought out, they were served hot chocolate, biscuits and toast.

Both young ladies were excitedly waiting for their gowns, it was their final fitting and they were both eager to see the final alterations made to the elegant designs they had chosen. "I can't recall the last time I was so excited for a ball gown," Rey exclaimed with anticipation. "So that's the effect Lord Dameron has on you then Rey? You become more fashionable and concerned of your dress," teased Jess with a naughty grin on her face. "Are you saying I'm not fashionable Jessika? If I do recall, I was the one who chose that design and colour to accentuate your figure and reflect your personality," Rey pointed out and ignored Jess' quip regarding Poe. She wasn't in the mood to think about him and needed some time to better prepare herself for what was surely to come.

"You did indeed and I'm very thankful of that. If I had the choice I'd probably be walking around in more comfortable clothes! You know I hate these bloody corsets," proclaimed Jess in exasperation. As she said this, the ladies attending to them finally brought out their gowns. While their gowns were of the highest quality silk, the elegance of their attire in the ball was simple enough that it would compliment the masks they were required to wear. The Winter Ball that year followed a masquerade theme, stating in the invites for all guests that attire for the night strictly called for masks as well.

Rey's ballgown was made of white satin, with the middle of her dress accentuated by blond lace starting from her waist all the way down. Her sleeves were long and fitted, showing off her femininely shaped arms. To add to her evening ensemble for the ball, she had them sew an evening royal blue robe to be worn on top of her gown and meant to match the royal blue mask she had them create for her as well. Jess' ballgown was slightly similar to Rey's only her sleeves were short and straight, with her evening robe and mask coloured red to suit her fiery personality. Both were delighted at how exquisitely perfect the gowns fit them and further brought out their beauty.

Jess was the first to speak up, "Lord Dameron will be stunned into silence when he sees you. I foresee him kissing you by the end of the ball!" Rey could not help herself, she blushed at such a thought. While the thought did not cross her mind as she was looking at herself in the mirror, she had imagined before what it would be like for Poe to kiss her, to want her. "Don't be ridiculous Jess. Poe could not keep that smart mouth of his shut to save his life!" There was truth in that statement and it amused her to no end, she remembered how often Poe would get into trouble all thanks to his quips. They quickly paid for everything they had made and were assisted into their carriage. Their gowns and accessories would be delivered to their address later that afternoon.

On their carriage ride home, Jess spoke up and posed a serious question to Rey, "If Lord Dameron were to propose to you soon, what would you say Rey? Think about it seriously before you answer me and before you do I will say this as your best friend: he truly seems like a good man. He will be a good husband and I'm pretty sure will also be a doting father. He's of a good, noble family and he seems to be very much in love with you. If you doubt it, I see the way he looks at you when you're talking or telling a story. We've only had one meal with him and already I see how he looks at you." Everything Jess said shocked Rey into silence. Were they both really that convincing in their act? Truly they must be so good at it that Jess actually thought Poe was in love with her. This was what they needed to happen, so why did Rey feel pain at the thought that their charade was brilliantly played by both of them?

"If he were to propose to me… I would agree to marry him. I know he's a good man and I enjoy his company very much. We'd make quite a match and the Republic would undoubtedly approve of it. Two noble families loyal to the Republic and uniting as one would be looked upon positively. But I cannot in good conscience say that I am already in love with him," Rey finally said. This last statement was true. How could she love someone who broke her heart not too long ago?

"Not all of us can afford to be romantic and fall in love Rey," Jess said to her quietly. "Sometimes we must choose duty over heart." That truly struck a chord in Rey, if Jess only knew how much she understood duty over heart. "You are quite right, Jess," was all she could reply as their carriage jolted to a stop in front of their residence.

The morning light spilled through the heavy crimson curtains and woke Poe. He groaned slightly, not wanting to remove himself from the comfort of the bed and thick blankets. Beebee-Ate noticed his master stirring underneath the covers and took this as a sign to further wake him by immediately jumping atop the bed to join Poe. "Oomph! Buddy… I think you're getting too heavy to still be climbing on to me like this." Excitable and cheerful as always, Beebee began to lick his master's face in an attempt to alert him of his hunger and the scheduled breakfast with the ladies that very morning.

As if trying to remind him of the morning activities, Beebee-Ate jumped off him, ran to the door and began to bark, signalling it was time for breakfast and he ought to hurry up. "Alright, alright, I'm getting out of bed now. Such a demanding dog aren't you?" he chuckled with humour as he removed himself from under the covers. He nearly knocked down the glass beside his bed as he did so but managed to quickly catch it before it hit the carpeted floor. He checked the clock in his room and saw it was a quarter past 9. Breakfast with Ms. Pava and Rey was scheduled for ten in the morning. Poe did not want to be late once more and hurried his morning ritual as fast as he could.

As Poe was getting ready, he looked back at the glass on his bedside table and immediately all of last night came rushing back: his horrible nightmare, his screaming for Rey, her coming in to comfort him, her gentleness and humming, her soft touch, her. He found himself blushing at the thought of all that happening. He was supposed to be protecting her and if the moment called for it, comforting her and yet here she was the one who took care of him. Not only was he embarrassed, his pride was somewhat hurt as well. What kind of military man allowed such nightmares to take over? He thought that perhaps for the sake of the both of them he had to pretend he had no recollection of the previous night. After all, he did not know how she truly felt about all of it, and in turn he wasn't sure how he felt about her seeing him in a moment of weakness. It was so intimate and it was also the intimacy of the nightmare that he questioned. While he knew that failure was never an option for him in his missions, how his heart fearfully pounded against his rib cage was a reaction he did not realise he was capable of. Thus, he resolved to pretend it had not happened, burying within him the emotions he could not yet put a name on nor wanted to at that point in time.

Poe was in the parlour waiting for them when they arrived. "Good morning Rey, Ms. Pava," he got up and bowed to them. "Did you manage to finally see your gowns for the ball then?" he asked good-naturedly. Rey noticed he didn't seem at all awkward, that was odd considering she expected him to react in such a way after last night's incident. He looked better though, as if he really did have a good night's rest. "Indeed we did," replied Jess, "and you will most certainly fall in more love with Rey when you see her this Saturday!" Poe's eyes widened with amusement, "Will I? Is that possible? To fall more in love with her? This must be a very well made gown then!"

"Don't listen to Jess. She's just flattering me and feels the need to pay me compliments as she is residing in my home," Rey said with humility. "Well now that we're back, I'm sure you're hungry Poe. Let's have breakfast shall we? Then we can discuss what we can do to entertain ourselves as Jess makes her calls after breakfast."

With the ladies having had some toast and hot chocolate earlier that morning, they nibbled on some biscuits as they sipped their coffees. Poe on the other hand was quite hungry and ate what their servants had placed on the breakfast table: coffee, eggs, sweet rolls, bacon and cheese. He was used to moderately heavy breakfasts on the base as training would commence a half hour after. This was his plan for the morning with Rey and something he eagerly proposed to her, "Rey, I was thinking, it's been quite a long time since we've sparred with one another. How about we have a go at it while Ms. Pava is off making her calls? I think it would definitely be less embarrassing for me to beat you without her as a witness," he said to her with a wink. He really was infuriating, she'd wipe that smirk off his face as soon as he'd find himself on the ground. "If I didn't know any better Poe, you're trying to get me into a compromising position. But no matter, by the end of our sparring session that smirk will be wiped clean off your face and you'll be begging me for mercy," she said with such sweetness it was quite terrifying. Poe only made it seem like he underestimated her, but really the strategist in him could tell by Rey's gait that she was indeed stronger than she looked and absolutely less innocent than she made it seem. "It's a date then," he said with a grin. Jess rolled her eyes, "Ugh, will the two of you get a room already?"

Immediately after breakfast, they went their separate ways, Jess to make her calls, Rey and Poe to change into sparring attire. Rey was quite excited to show Poe just how much she had improved over the past year and a half. It really had almost been two years since they last sparred with one another and she was determined to show him why she was top of their class. She remembered quite well how she lost to him the last time they had practiced. Poe refused to go easy on her even if she was a woman, something she was both thankful for and annoyed at as well. He was more than a formidable opponent as he was excellent at observing her moves as well as strategising quickly what to do next. Being the Resistance's leading strategist and rider, she knew why he was so quick, but she had new tricks up her sleeve that would make their sparring that morning very interesting indeed.

They met in front of Poe's rooms as they decided to walk to the sparring room together. "Now that's the Rey I remember well," he smiled fondly at her. She was wearing her hair in her usual three buns this time with her favourite custom-made off white sparring clothes. "Don't tell me you actually prefer me in sparring attire over gowns, Poe. We both know I look more polished in women's clothing." Poe watched her carefully, thinking about whether or not to compliment her, "Either way suits you. I'm merely complimenting on the fact that my last memory of you before you left the base was you in this sparring outfit," he replied to her thoughtfully. What an odd thing to say she thought, perhaps this outfit really is just that uncommon and memorable.

"You have a last memory of me before leaving the base?" she asked boldly and curiously. He didn't think she would ask such a question but he supposed her boldness was a good thing. Perhaps he could tell her what he observed during their last moment together, "I do… I remember sparring with you the morning you were to leave and go back to the Academy. I sensed you were angry at me as we were fighting, you put so much emotion into it that you became so focused on beating me rather than calculating your moves. I couldn't understand why you were so mad at me but then I remembered I refused to dance with you during the ball. So I took it as that but I refused to go easy on you because you'd be able to tell if I did. At the end of it, I thought that perhaps we would be okay once again but I saw this look in your eyes as you said goodbye, you were hurt. Till this very day I cannot fathom what I did to hurt you… That's why I remember how you looked so well. For the first time in a long time I saw you truly hurt and I could sense I was the cause of it somehow. What did I do Rey?" She noticed how his expression revealed pain, she couldn't understand why he would be pained at such a confession or why it should have bothered him so much that he was the cause of her hurt. Rey wondered if perhaps it was the right time to tell him what she overheard, trusting one another and all. She decided to stall in order to gain the courage to tell him what happened.

"How about we spar first? If you beat me, I will answer your question. But if I beat you, you shall owe me several dances," she held her hand out for him to shake. He refused to shake her hand and as he had continued doing since he arrived, he kissed her hand in response. "As the lady wishes," he said smoothly, "shall we?" he added as he attempted to open the doors to the sparring room. "Oh let me, this room isn't accessible to just anyone," Rey said as she brought out her skeleton key and opened the doors. As they walked in, Poe realised why the room was locked. The Skywalkers kept a wide array of weaponry in this large room and clearly access to such weapons by just anyone would most definitely compromise the safety of the family. He observed that the floor was matted in order to prevent slipping and soften hard falls.

They prepared by stretching and helping one another ease tension and knots in their muscles. This was their usual routine prior to a sparring session but this time around Poe was more aware of Rey's warm hands. He hadn't paid all that much attention to it all before and yet this time all his senses were aware of her close proximity and her massaging hands. He cleared his throat and said, "Well, ugh, I think we're about as stretched out as we can get before, ugh, sparring. Let's start then." What the devil was wrong with him, he was never this nervous around her, Commander Dameron of the Resistance was actually nervous about sparring with Rey.

The two dark-haired individuals readied themselves in their positions, poised for battle. They were moving in a circle, calculating when to make a move. Rey made the first move, tired of their circling, attempting to kick Poe's left side but Poe as usual was quick in his response, blocking her with his arms and pushing her away. She staggered for a bit but found her footing just in time for her to block his jab. They continued their dance, and it was a dance, for each movement was as fluid as the next. Neither of them was really hitting the other, the intention was not to hurt but to block each movement as swiftly as possible. This was a dance they knew well but there were new moves introduced and limits pushed, so much so that more than forty-five minutes had passed and neither of them was ready to give up. They were both on opposite ends of the mat trying to catch their breaths but refusing to throw in the towel.

Poe was impressed, "I have to say, you really have improved since the last time. You're more calculating and less emotional in your movements. That's an excellent change Rey. Okay, one last go, ready?" She nodded in reply as he ran to her and attempted to sweep her off her feet, not in the romantic sense, and nearly managed to topple her down. He took this as an opportunity to grab her from behind and pin her face down on the mat. She calmly waited for him to slowly let his guard down and as expected he did. She hooked her legs around him and pinned him down, only this time she was nearly straddling him in a compromising position. They looked into each others eyes and only then did they realise just how intimate their position was. She got off him quickly as if burned and walked off to the opposite side of the room. She was embarrassed and thrilled all at the same time, "I'm so sorry! That was wildly inappropriate… Perhaps we should call it a day and get ready for lunch." Poe was still lying on the floor, attempting to catch his breath and process what just happened, "Yes, ugh, I think that's a good idea. How about we call it even?" She nodded eagerly, her face still flushed and blushing from such close contact. As she was accustomed to doing when she was nervous, she began to ramble, "Perhaps we could freshen up then take lunch outside? I didn't ask our Cook to prepare anything for us as I expected we'd be dining out. I know of a good luncheon place that serves your favourite dishes," Poe had finally gotten up and attempted to school his features, "That sounds like a good idea. I'll pass for you in your room in an hour then?" She nodded in response, still slightly out of breath. "I'll have the servants prepare a bath for us," he replied, then realised how that sounded and added, "in our rooms of course. Separately. Yes, ugh, I'll go ahead then. See you in an hour." He bolted right out of the room, sorely in need of a distraction.

Rey did not know whether to giggle at Poe's reaction or to be hurt. She wasn't quite sure where they stood yet and although he had shown signs of attraction to her and care, she was afraid to hope it could become something more. She wasn't ready to have her heart broken once again but strangely she was not afraid of seeing what could happen if he did want to try. She was allowing herself to hope and that was enough at that point. As Maz said, ' _the belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead.'_ Perhaps that also meant burying the past and looking to the future.

Poe was, needless to say, confused and intoxicated. Ever since he arrived in Naboo and was reunited with Rey, he knew some things had changed. He had been attracted to Rey before, that much was true, but she was a child then, a young girl still in school. He put an end to his growing attraction to her almost two years back because he believed her to be too young and unaware of what she wanted, that perhaps he was the only man she was familiar with and in consequence was falling for. He wanted her to have the opportunity to meet other men, young men much closer to her age and not as exposed to warfare and death. She deserved that much at least before really deciding if he was the one she wanted, if she'd ever give him a chance that is. With what had been happening in just these two days, he was beginning to hope that there was a chance. Now, she was a young woman, still young compared to him of course, but not as naive and even more headstrong and intelligent than he remembered. He could tell that she was more knowledgeable of herself and what she wanted, yet the question of who he truly was to her had yet to be answered. Further adding to that would be their mission and how everything would come into play; he would have to propose to her during the Winter Ball, and his rekindled feelings were growing. He knew himself enough that with the mission and the charade it would be inevitable that he would fall deeply and irrevocably in love with her. Yet he reminded himself that this was a mission, he wasn't supposed to fall in love with Rey. But if he was being honest with himself, he knew that he was passionately falling for her. So the final question he asked himself was: was he ready to give his heart in the midst of his duty, in the middle of a war where there was no certain victor?


End file.
